Reidar

Nothing. I'm just realizing that you only comment me in response to me commenting you.

What did I do this time?

I know you don't like emoticons, but: :(

When I was in high school there was a kid in one of my classes who was convinced I had nazis in my family. It got annoying, so I told him I did, and made up stories. The German language is rough sounding, so I guess it could be used to intimidate, but when I speak it sounds a lot softer. By the way, I don't think you're intimidating, at all.

You speak German. Intimidation ought to be your middle name. You just need a blaring voice and a head of rage. I love to shout in Russian at perplexed and frightened onlookers.

And I don't believe you would insult me like that.

But you have intimidation, and I don't have that. There isn't a manly word for "pretty", but if there was, I'd call you it.

You get hordes of comments already. What do you have that I don't? I could be pretty... if I felt like it.

My page has been so lonely without your comments. Won't you be a good... friend, and tell me something new.

Not in this economy.

I am not a weakling and I enjoy cake, therefore cake is not for weaklings. Unless the cake is made by weaklings, I will not eat a weakling's cake. But since cakes are not for weaklings, there isn't a chance of that happening. I'm just wasting my time, because cupcakes are better.

Cakes are for weaklings, anyways. Unless you get a cake made out of biceps.

That was so beautiful, it makes me want to have no friends so that no comments will push it down. Now nothing you say will top that.

Sadly I didn't get any cake. What's a birthday without cake? A cakeless birthday, that's what.

On this day you turn nineteen years old,
A day to experience what makes birthdays gold.
Your Hallmark card is but one of many,
Mass-produced and costing a penny.
Those cardboard hats and illustrated plates
Increase human demand for rainforest rates.
The cake is synthetic gluten and sugar
With texture like that of a bloated tumor.
The solemn congratulations reflect the mood:
They're all more interested in the party food.
Yes, birthdays impress more when you're young and free
But it's your day, so appreciate it, Dee.

This is not a drill.

I'll read between the lines.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss your comments. (Uhoh, I wish I knew how to unmushy-fy this. How awkward... for you.)

I would tell you that I like your random comments, but that would just perpetuate all the hearsay.

I thought I had something to say, but it turns out I don't. I just thought that since I was here I would leave a comment. Didn't want it to be a wasted a trip.

What a nice compliment for you to leave on my page.


You'll probably need help ruling the universe, and a feminine touch. You know where to find me.

"Ruler of the Universe".

So what are some words that I can use that you will appreciate?

You'd better be.

cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage cleavage

It's ok, I'm taking it back.